Dorm Food - How to Mail a Biscuit

I ate dorm food for the duration of my matriculation. While enjoying three squares a day at ISU, I had a lot of adventures with food. One day, I had the gall to return a cold, congealed Steak-Um sandwich to the food service lady. I explained that my Steak-Um was ice cold. She gave me a frosty stare and plunged a thermometer into the bowels of the sandwich. She took a glance at the thermometer reading and righteously proclaimed: "This sandwich isn't ice cold; it's room temperature." And then she proceeded to hand me back my gray, room temperature Steak-Um. It was a long, pathetic walk back to the dining table.

But that's not the only dorm food memory that this 1908 Old Poodle restaurant menu brought to mind. In fact, I had many worthwhile culinary adventures while surviving on dorm food for those glorious college years. On another occasion, I was served a stale biscuit that was so hard and rigid that I was able to hollow out the inside and inserted a note like a message in a bottle. I then mailed the biscuit-gram to a friend who lived 120 miles away. I took great care to properly address the top of the biscuit, and I affixed more than adequate postage. My friend reported receiving the tensile-strength biscuit--no worse for wear--a week or so later. My dorm biscuit, something produced ostensibly for human consumption, had survived a journey through the USPS.

[Note: I do not recommend or endorse using baked goods--no matter how crudely they were produced--as parcels to be sent through the U.S. Mail.]